Content warning: This story contains references to suicide.
Dozens of scattered tombstones poked out of the early spring grass like evergreen flowers. Some stood tall and sunflower-like, while others crept shyly from the ground like periwinkle. Centuries of erosion had swallowed some of the oldest stones below the surface of the hill where St. John’s Lutheran Cemetery rests in the Spring Hill–City View neighborhood in Pittsburgh’s Northside.
Talia Paone, 27, laid a red and white gingham blanket down on an empty spot next to a mother and father who died in 1954 and 1957, respectively. Since the beginning stages of her transition as a transgender woman, Talia frequently drove up to the cemetery to look at the view of the Downtown skyline and ponder about life — and death.
Talia has a career, genuine friendships and a mortgage — more than anything her pre-transition self ever dreamed of.
“If I did not transition, I would not be where I am physically, financially, emotionally, because I probably would’ve killed myself during the pandemic,” Talia confessed. “This is where I could have been.”
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Talia’s experience is no outlier. A 2020 study showed that 82% of transgender people have considered suicide and 40% have attempted it. Transitioning leads to better mental health outcomes and lower rates of suicidality, depression and self-harming behavior.
In recent years, 46 states advanced bills attacking the rights of trans people across the nation, according to an American Civil Liberties Union tally. In Pennsylvania, representatives introduced three bills that could:
- effectively exclude transgender girls from competing in girls’ sports
- restrict what elementary school teachers are permitted to say about gender identification and sexual orientation inside the classroom
- clear the way for more lawsuits against the state’s gender clinics.
Beyond the legislature, trans students at the University of Pittsburgh feel like their safety is at risk on campus. In the last two months, the student organization Turning Point USA hosted two events featuring right-wing speakers who espoused anti-trans rhetoric. Cabot Phillips, editor and writer at the conservative news website The Daily Wire, sparked a protest in front of the Cathedral of Learning when he spoke there on March 24.
The combination of threats to the wellbeing of transgender people inspired a new wave of resistance among trans activists in Pittsburgh.
Talia was among the community members that used the protest as a platform to condemn the university for allowing hateful and anti-trans rhetoric on campus. Although Pitt recognized in its public responses that the events were “toxic and hurtful for many,” as a public university, it upholds “the principles of protected speech and expression.”
Though the local and national anti-trans sentiments make her feel angry, Talia doesn’t let the negativity shut her down; she’s fighting back. It is what she and others call “revolutionary optimism” — and “that is fundamentally how we can transform society,” Talia said.
Cameryn Gray, a sophomore history major at Pitt, took a different approach to demonstrating against Phillips. Cameryn and a small group of students protested from within the event. Cameryn wore a protest shirt that said “FEAR OF DIVERSITY IN AMERICA” underneath their regular clothes and unveiled it once the speaker got on stage. After members of the group talked loudly over Phillips for the first few minutes of the event, Pitt Police kicked them out.
“As [the university] normalized having these speakers on campus, you can feel a mood change,” Cameryn stated. “People who maybe wouldn’t speak out about their transphobia in the past now feel like they have something to stand on because their views are being supported on campus and there are other people who are vocal about their [transphobic] beliefs.”
Cameryn Gray poses in a gender-neutral bathroom in the Frick Fine Arts Building at the University of Pittsburgh on April 3, 2023. In the second photo, Cameryn takes off their shirt and reveals their chest binder. Coming to the University of Pittsburgh and surrounding themselves with a supportive community of other trans students helped Cameryn to determine who they are and how they want to present themselves.
Coming to the University of Pittsburgh and surrounding themselves with a supportive community of other trans students helped Cameryn to determine who they are and how they want to present themselves. The unconditional support and validation they received from their community was gratifying. “I feel like I’m living a life I never knew I was supposed to live now,” Cameryn reflected, “I didn’t know other [cis-gender] people were constantly feeling this gratification all the time.”
On March 27, a second speaker, Riley Gaines, gave a talk opposing trans women in women’s sports at an on-campus event. The twelve-time NCAA All-American swimmer also drew protesters. A Black trans nonprofit, TransYouniting, helped organize a rally that gathered about 200 students and community members and blocked the intersection of Forbes Avenue and Bigelow Boulevard.
At left, Piper Garloch, a drag queen who performs under the name October, at P Town Bar in April. At right, Piper speaking at the rally against Riley Gaines on Pitt’s campus in late March.
Piper Garloch, a drag queen who performs under the name October, was among the protesters who spoke via megaphone against the university’s lack of support for trans students. Before this year, she had never been the type of person to stand up about world issues and looked up to those who did. This time around, she had a sense of urgency to defend her trans community.
A feeling that society is traveling backward haunts Piper.
“I don’t understand how, in 2023, we are living in a time where we allow old, cis, hetero, white men to decide what’s best for trans people, the LGTQIA or women,” she said. According to Piper, these men see trans people as a threat to their existence and power.
“More women need to be in positions of power,” Piper said. “More people of color need to be in positions of power. More trans people need to be in positions of power. This is supposed to be the most diverse society in the entire world. This was the land of the free. I don’t feel like we’re free. It doesn’t feel very diverse.”
For a long time, Piper fought an internal battle. Drag was her escape — a way to express who she was without exposing her trans identity.
Like Talia, Piper came to terms with her transness during introspective moments in quarantine. Embracing her identity and being her true self was transformative.
“Once a trans person reaches that point in their life, they can no longer live the lie,” Piper said. “It is pivotal for them to have that moment. The only way that I can put it is that it’s the most freeing, most weightless I have ever felt in my life.”
SisTers PGH, a Black and trans-led nonprofit serving Southwestern Pennsylvania, hosted a rally outside the Pittsburgh City-County Building on March 31, the International Transgender Day of Visibility. The purpose of the rally was to elevate the voices and experiences of the community. Saint Valentino, director of the organization’s youth collective, spoke at the event.
Saint Valentino with his trans flag folding fan in East Liberty on April 12, 2023. Saint came to terms with his identity after attending a Black pride event in East Liberty last June.
For Saint, being trans is a gift. He came to terms with his identity after attending a Black pride event in East Liberty last June. After that, everything changed for him. “I didn’t know people that look like me could identify and dress in different ways, and I’d never seen that before,” Saint said.
Saint struggled with determining some aspects of his gender expression. At the beginning of his transition, he didn’t know other trans-masculine people — a term for trans people whose gender identity is more aligned with masculinity. It was difficult for him to figure out different hairstyles or how to bind his chest correctly. Now that Saint has found a community in SisTers, he is planning to have a breast reduction.
“I’m happy with myself. I wouldn’t change anything. I don’t want a chest anymore, but I’m really content with how I’ve grown and who I am now.”
Amaya Lobato-Rivas was a PublicSource photojournalism intern from January-May 2023. She is a second-year student at the University of Pittsburgh majoring in media and professional communication and minoring in film and media studies. She can be reached at aml299@pitt.edu.
